A BLESSING - By Dawn McGowan

Adoption.

Every time I sit down at the computer, my mind gets overwhelmed by what to write. I sit and stare at the screen and then I end up deciding to try again another time. It is difficult to figure out where to begin. There are so many things to say, as well as a roller coaster of emotions. As I sit here, I am thinking back on our family’s journey and I am reminded that God does have a plan for us. Fortunately for our family, that plan included adoption, and it has been our biggest gift.

So here it goes....

My husband Nate and I were married for a few years before we started trying for a family. We were both young and healthy and figured we would get pregnant right away. We were excited, but that soon turned into sadness when months passed with no positive results. We prayed about it, but the prayers were always focused on what we wanted. 

We questioned why God wasn't listening to us.

We didn't understand why everyone else was able to get pregnant and we were having all this trouble.

It didn't seem fair. 

There were many tears and frustrations with God. I can still feel our sadness as I venture back to that time. But Nate and I are both really positive people and decided to start focusing on all the good we had in our life. We poured our love into each other, our family and friends, and we found joy amongst the pain.  We began to appreciate the small things. Our relationships grew deeper.

A blessing.

While undergoing many tests and doctor appointments, we discovered that Nate was a carrier of cystic fibrosis.  After doing a little research, we discovered Nate's sister, Kate, had many of the symptoms we were reading about.  We chatted about our discovery with her and she called her doctor to do some tests.  Her results came back positive for cystic fibrosis.  She was able to start receiving treatments to help maintain her lung function.

She would say, "It was a God thing." 

A blessing.

We found out shortly after that time that in vitro fertilization would be our only chance to get pregnant.  We began the next phase.   There were many letdowns and stresses involved in this process.  We prayed even harder and found a church in our town because we knew we needed God to help us through this.  We started talking with God in a different way and our relationship with Him grew deeper.  We were now starting to realize that we didn't have the control.  We couldn't plan everything.  After many failed attempts at IVF, our hearts were sad, but we started to feel like God was telling us He had a different plan for us.

We began to listen more and adoption started to move to the forefront.  We were scared, but felt a strange sense of peace.  Nate and I knew we were in this together, but that God was now leading the way.  It was out of our hands and we had to have faith in Him.

Another blessing.

That path led us to working with two different adoption agencies - and eventually our three beautiful children.  Each experience was quite a journey.  All of our children's birth moms prayed for guidance during their pregnancy.   They were able to make the loving and selfless decision to choose adoption.  Our connections have been instant and full of love.  Nate and I have felt God's hand in each of the adoptions.  We can look back on it now in awe at how everything unfolded.  Each adoption taught us something.  God has helped us grow in so many ways and blessed us with our family. For that we are grateful!

 "Wait for the Lord; be strong, 

and let your heart take courage; 

wait for the LORD!"

Psalm 27:14