Are they perfect – no.
Am I perfect – far from it.
Have we had our heated disagreements over the years – yes.
Ten years ago when I was called into full time church ministry out of the corporate world, I sought feedback from my family as part of my discernment process. My mom wisely said “son, you are too prideful to work at a church.”
She was right.
Just a few years ago in the heat of a nasty argument, my dad heartily told me “you don’t love your family like you need to and have no business working at a church.”
He was right.
Did I mention that I love my parents?
Did I mention that I love my parents?
The emotional response to my mom’s statement was, well, prideful, “Oh I’ll show her, I’ll be the most humble staffer that ever walked the halls of a church building.”
By the way, I’m still working on it and I’m nowhere near where I need to be in the humility department. But the emotional response to my dad several years later was strangely different ... no bitterness, no hurt, no pride. I prayed about what he said and as often happens in my relational interactions with God - I cannot explain it - Judges 6 came into my mind. As I’ve learned to do, I promptly opened up the nearest Bible.
Here was the tale of a Hebrew peasant farmer by the name of Gideon. His story can be read in about 15 minutes in the Old Testament book of Judges. This man’s people had strayed off of God’s path and as a result, the ruthless heathen Midianites had conquered and ruled over them – burning and pillaging their lands in an attempt to starve them out of existence. We meet Gideon secretly working on making flour in order to help feed his family. He was putting himself and his family at great risk, when a stranger appears out of nowhere catching him in the act. Picture Gideon’s reaction, expecting the worst, when the stranger pipes up and says, “Mighty hero, the LORD is with you.” We can imagine a Twitter post from Gideon’s account in the moment:
LOL, lowly captive, cowering, farmer, me, Gideon a mighty hero? #GetRealDude :-/
Not recognizing the stranger as an emissary of God, Gideon gets a bit belligerent, accusing God of forgetting about him, his family, and the Hebrew people. And strangely, I can relate. Pride? Bitterness? Understandable reactions? But now that he had Gideon’s attention, the stranger then piles on, telling Gideon something he could have never expected – God has chosen him to defeat the Midianites and rescue the entire nation of Israel.
More than slightly overwhelmed by the enormity of the challenge given to him, Gideon backpedals ... explaining why he is the least qualified individual, in the lowest family, in the smallest tribe of the whole country. He’s a farmer, not a warrior. He has no gift of strategy, no training in battle tactics. Then through the spokesperson, the voice of God says, “I will be with you.” An interesting mix of fear, reverence, and confidence flows through him; but to say the least, ‘wishy-washy’ best describes his reactions for the remainder of his story ... and I will leave it to you to read the rest of the account yourself.
The bottom line take-away for me after reading through Gideon’s story, (and as it related to my reactions following my dad’s statement,) was that like Gideon I’m in no way prepared to be the spouse, the parent, the friend, the mentor, the leader that God needs me to be. None of us are prepared – everyone has baggage ... bad decisions, harmful habits, hurtful words or actions, deep emotional wounds, consuming guilt, poor self-image, fearful anxiety, lacking resources or abilities, quick temper, misplaced priorities, and the list could go on.
Gideon was a mess, I am still a mess. Maybe you are a mess too.
In the days after Jesus’ resurrection, Christ met with his followers giving them their marching orders prior to his ascension up to heaven. This passage has become known as the Great Commission. This talk closes with Jesus making the same promise to us, his followers, as God made to Gideon: “I will be with you”. You see, in God’s eyes – because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus – our messes don’t matter as long as, like the peasant farmer-hero, we have a single grain’s worth of faithful obedience. In fact, the New Testament writer of the book of Hebrews mentions our reluctant hero hundreds of years after Gideon’s story unfolded.
You see, thankfully, God can work through us in spite of our weaknesses. Gideon didn’t feel he was worthy to be used by God, but he was willing to give it a try. Yes, mom and dad, I certainly am also not worthy, but I prayerfully keep trying to be willing and am a work in process. If any of you aren’t sure God has a plan for your life – rest assured that he does. Crawl out of your self-imposed hiding place mess, lean into Jesus’ promise that he “will be with you”, and get ready for an adventure.
You don’t have to be worthy, just be willing.
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